bitch & moan
   my current  frustrations deal mainly with my home. and my car.  ha  ha.
  
 my bedroom closet  is basically the only closet i have.  it's horrible.  the hangers go  on these little um.. how to say.. well, slatted type thing.  which means  you can't move a hanger once you put it in.  meaning, you can't do the  normal sliding-the-hangers-to-look-for-something thing.  plus, it's very  very dark.  so i can't move anything and i can't see anything.  my  closet has totally just become unused at this point.. i keep everything in  laundry baskets and separators.. it's horribly frustrating.  all i have for  proper clothes storage besides those horrible hanger things is a plastic chest  of drawers purchased at target for like $20.  and i can't get to it in the  closet and it's too dark to see inside it anyway.
 so this weekend i  decided i needed to do something about it and went to kmart to find some type of  organizer or something.  
  
 sad  realization?  i can't afford anything.  even at kmart.  I CANNOT  SHOP AT KMART WITHOUT SOUL-SEARCHING!  ("do i really, really need  this $8 storage container?")
 yes, i am  too poor to shop at kmart.  kmart is rungs below target, for sure,  and even walmart, i think.
  
 so anyway, i  settled for a corner shelf for my bathroom for $7.
 somehow it fell  down the other day and a big nick was taken out of the  paint.
  
 beyond this, i've  been trying to hang my things on my walls that i have.  i've been living at  this apartment for six months and it still looks unlived in, mostly.  my  walls are SUPER hard though.. so you can't use tacks.  and pounding nails  in is serious business.  i tried tacking up my onion poster last night and  the tacks wouldn't go in so i used NAILS (yes, i was that frustrated), but then  the whole thing was uneven and bubbled up.
 and i TRIED to put  these cute thrift-store finds up the other night.. they are like decorative  trivets.. had my camera been charged up, i so would've taken a picture.  it  was so pathetic.  they were all uneven and some spaced an inch apart,  others a half-inch.  it honestly made me crack up.  freaking living  alone, without someone handy around.. agggh.. horrible!  all the hangable  stuff just sits in piles around my place.
  
 oh yeah, also, i  got closet rods to improve matters.
 the smallest of  the rods they have does not fit, but only by about half an inch.  do you  have ANY IDEA of how frustrating that is?  those rods were my  salvation!  now i have to try to rig something up the LONG way in the  closet rather than widthwise.  
 and i don't have a  chair to stand on.  and stepping stools cost too much.
  
 bah. i get paid  this week and am saying screw it all.  i've long said i can't afford to  spruce up my place, except when i luck out thrifting, but it's now it  started to affect my sanity, so i'm going to just go for it.   i'm buying the longer closet rod, some shelves for the bathroom ($10/piece) and  some paint to make them match.  AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT WILL HELP ME MAKE MY  PLACE MINE AND LIVEABLE.  
  
 sorry to complain  again, but luckily i think my funk is beginning to wear off.  i've had no  energy lately, no desire to do anything.. as you've noticed from the lack of  pics; i am no even excited by pictures anymore.  but last night i was up  til 3 working on stuff.  so i think i'm emerging from the month-long  funk.  it's just.. the apt. situation.. being poor.. i still have not dealt  with the outdoor cats so have to avoid my landlord.  i just can't deal with  the thought of separating them.  the brothers love each other and elvis  loves them; they rub against each other as they walk ALL THE TIME.  and  unless i can catch the three at once, they are going to be fixed/moved at  different times.  so the thought comes back - why the hell do they have to  go?  i love them, the cat lady loves them.. why not just let them live in  peace?  :(