blech so i have the weirdest affliction ever: i'm allergic to crying.

seriously. every time i bawl about something, i end up sniffling and sneezing so bad that it's basically like i'm really, really sick - and it lasts a couple of days.

i was crying yesterday. a bunch of reasons, with PMS as the cherry on top. nothing big i need to talk about here or anything.. but because of it, i basically still feel like i'm sick. i had to take nyquil allergy last night and use my inhaler before i went to bed. awful. chris keeps saying that it should teach me not to cry. and that's true.. but how do you help it? i think the next time i start to feel like crying, i'll just take something to knock me out and hopefully i'll sleep through it.

one thing - chris's mom is in town. he won't let her come over here.. yesterday she showed up and he basically stood outside and talked to her for, like, an hour. just having her outside.. ugh. just bad, bad feelings. and the funny part is that today she said she wanted to take me out to lunch. chris said that he was certain that i wouldn't want to. ask, she said. chris told her that he didn't need to. and he was right.

good news... i had answered an ad for a substitute for a montessori school a while back. i hadn't heard anything, but then last week i got an email. blissfully, the school is only about 10 minutes from here. friday i went in for an interview, and the lady seemed to like me so it sounds as if i'll be the one she'll call starting in january when she needs a sub. it's a very small school and they do infants & toddlers only.. i think i'll really like it, and i'm actually excited about it. it doesn't pay all that much - duh - but i don't really care; i'm just happy i was able to find something to do part-time that i'll actually LIKE. she said a lot of her substitutes end up as permanent employees, so i can see if it's something i enjoy.. and if i do, i would get a montessori teaching certificate and that's that. it's an idea i like, but i am not going to put too much thought into it until after i spend some time there and see how i like it.

it was funny... she warned me that, due to the age group, some of what is required of the teacher is dirty work, like diaper changing and stuff. i'm thinking about the fact that i WILLINGLY clean up doggy poop for anywhere between 2 and 4 hours a week... for free! i don't think a mere diaper change is going to turn me off to a job like this. :D

off to stand in a steaming hot shower for a few hours to try to relieve some of this sinus pressure!!!  ¶ 5:33 PM