ok, so i'm the biggest nerd.
my chest pretty much ACHED by the time i got to class.. it had been such a long, hectic day.. add dread on top of that! (i HATE public speaking. Hatehatehatehate.)
i was soothed by the fact that lots of people did fairly.. well, poor jobs on their speeches. the first girl to go - and she volunteered to do so! literally kept spacing out for 10-second periods. and she had all these awkward, forced gestures.. like car salesmen on tv, you know. it was painful, like watching a model get interviewed when she doesn't get the jokes and uses words wrong.
anyway, so i get up to go. i'm trying to inflect, trying to make eye contact.. and then i get to this notecard. and i seriously just looked at it and choked up. CHOKED UP. i tried to read "stacey's father passed away in 1998" three times and couldn't get past my name.. my eyes teared up. bottom lip started to tremble. all of this in front of the whole freaking class. i apologized, took a deep breath, finally got it out, and got on with my speech. when i sat down back at my desk, i nearly started crying.
i seriously wasn't expecting to be like that in front of everyone. i mean, i can normally talk about my dad without bursting into tears. i guess i was just already very shaky.. add an emotionally-charged statement to that.. recipe for disaster!
but, it's done with.. and i got an 88%. next topic is a persuasive one of our choosing.. i'm guessing "Choosing Free-Range Meat" will not be emotionally as difficult to talk about. anger over sadness, it's always the best choice. phew. :)
p.s. dawny, see? you're "beloved." :)
¶ 5:12 PM
