Thursday, October 20, 2005

originally uploaded by estacey.

ok, so i'm the biggest nerd.

my chest pretty much ACHED by the time i got to class.. it had been such a long, hectic day.. add dread on top of that! (i HATE public speaking. Hatehatehatehate.)

i was soothed by the fact that lots of people did fairly.. well, poor jobs on their speeches. the first girl to go - and she volunteered to do so! literally kept spacing out for 10-second periods. and she had all these awkward, forced gestures.. like car salesmen on tv, you know. it was painful, like watching a model get interviewed when she doesn't get the jokes and uses words wrong.

anyway, so i get up to go. i'm trying to inflect, trying to make eye contact.. and then i get to this notecard. and i seriously just looked at it and choked up. CHOKED UP. i tried to read "stacey's father passed away in 1998" three times and couldn't get past my name.. my eyes teared up. bottom lip started to tremble. all of this in front of the whole freaking class. i apologized, took a deep breath, finally got it out, and got on with my speech. when i sat down back at my desk, i nearly started crying.

i seriously wasn't expecting to be like that in front of everyone. i mean, i can normally talk about my dad without bursting into tears. i guess i was just already very shaky.. add an emotionally-charged statement to that.. recipe for disaster!

but, it's done with.. and i got an 88%. next topic is a persuasive one of our choosing.. i'm guessing "Choosing Free-Range Meat" will not be emotionally as difficult to talk about. anger over sadness, it's always the best choice. phew. :)

p.s. dawny, see? you're "beloved." :)

What about me?? I am beloved too??
Grieving is a life long'll get there and you'll be ok.
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I'm Stacey. I'm a 31(!)-year-old Wisconsin girl living in sunny South Florida. The highlights in my life are my lovely boyfriend, my aloof cats, my adorable/adoring stepdogs, my two lumbering tortoises, select family members, being outside, being underwater, taking pictures, yadda yadda. Stay tuned for lots of babbling!

Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida, United States


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Making a difference

A small boy lived by the ocean. He loved the creatures of the sea, especially the starfish, and he spent much of his time exploring the seashore.

One day the boy learned there would be a minus tide that would leave the starfish stranded on the sand.

When the tide went out, he went down to the beach, began picking up the stranded starfish, and tossing them back into the ocean.

An elderly man who lived next door came down to the beach to see what the boy was doing. Seeing the man's quizzical expression, the boy paused as he approached. "I'm saving the starfish!" the boy proudly declared.

When the neighbor saw all of the stranded starfish he shook his head and said: "I'm sorry to disappoint you, young man, but if you look down the beach, there are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see. And if you look up the beach the other way, it's the same. One little boy like you isn't going to make much of a difference."

The boy thought about this for a moment. Then he reached his small hand down to the sand, picked up another starfish, tossed it out into the ocean, and said: "Well, I sure made a difference for that one!"

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