Thursday, October 13, 2005
value
i have some weird thing where i get really annoyed when things that cost a lot cost a lot because, you know, who wants to pay a lot for that?
case in point: i need a drill. i had one from byron but he didn't bring over the CHARGER. so i have a dead drill with no way to charge it.
i need my shelves up, so i think, "okay, i guess i'll just buy one." even with my bargain-shopper abilities, i can't really find one for under $30. most of them are in the $50-70 range. some i saw cost $150. $150! on a drill!
i'm thinking there should be some store something like SNL's sentimental pawn shop:
Pawn Shop Owner: Okay! [ she exits; Man enters ] Hi, what can I do for you?
Man: I'd like to pawn this item, it's a plastic piano.
Pawn Shop Owner: Who gave it to you?
Man: My parents. You see, when I was a boy, I loved the piano.. and I always wanted to be a concert pianist, and this was just a symbol of, you know, how much they believed in me.
Pawn Shop Owner: Ohh.. so this is just a sad reminder of an unfulfilled dream, huh?
Man: Oh, no. I made it. I am a concert pianist. I play with the city symphony.
Pawn Shop Owner: Ohhh.. oh! So, this would be nice for you to keep forever?
Man: Oh, yeah!
Pawn Shop Owner: Your parents alive or dead?
Man: [ solemn ] My father passed away last summer.
Pawn Shop Owner: Mother?
Man: She's still alive. [ a beat ] She's not well.
Pawn Shop Owner: Look, I'll be honest with you. This'll be worth a lot more when she goes, believe me.
Man: [ silent ] Gee.. I really needed the money now, but, uh.. I guess you've got a point.
Pawn Shop Owner: Well, see, you would have to take less now, is the only thing.
Man: Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well thanks, I'll come back.
Pawn Shop Owner: Okay, I'll be here!
Man: Thank you. [ exits ]
Man: I'd like to pawn this item, it's a plastic piano.
Pawn Shop Owner: Who gave it to you?
Man: My parents. You see, when I was a boy, I loved the piano.. and I always wanted to be a concert pianist, and this was just a symbol of, you know, how much they believed in me.
Pawn Shop Owner: Ohh.. so this is just a sad reminder of an unfulfilled dream, huh?
Man: Oh, no. I made it. I am a concert pianist. I play with the city symphony.
Pawn Shop Owner: Ohhh.. oh! So, this would be nice for you to keep forever?
Man: Oh, yeah!
Pawn Shop Owner: Your parents alive or dead?
Man: [ solemn ] My father passed away last summer.
Pawn Shop Owner: Mother?
Man: She's still alive. [ a beat ] She's not well.
Pawn Shop Owner: Look, I'll be honest with you. This'll be worth a lot more when she goes, believe me.
Man: [ silent ] Gee.. I really needed the money now, but, uh.. I guess you've got a point.
Pawn Shop Owner: Well, see, you would have to take less now, is the only thing.
Man: Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well thanks, I'll come back.
Pawn Shop Owner: Okay, I'll be here!
Man: Thank you. [ exits ]
that'd be good, right? i could go on to explain that i have, like, two tools in my possession: a wussy hammer and a FLORAL-DESIGNED screwdriver (i had to). i don't like tools or make ape noises when i look at them or use them. i don't care how well it works or what brand it is or what it looks like; i just need something that successfully makes holes. i'm sure that'd bring the price down.
ooh! $10 one on craigslist.. let's hope it's not gone! :D
¶ 11:55 AM
