Sunday, October 01, 2006
  This one here in front died. :(

babies, originally uploaded by estacey.

I don't know how.

As has been usual of late, I spent my weekend with Chris, stopping by here to check on the critters and to feed the strays under ths shed. Yesterday, all was fine. Today, there were only two kittens. I didn't worry at all; after all, they're always here, under the dresser or something. Chris said, "Better make sure." So I called for the third kitten, "Oh, piggy!" And nothing. We searched the whole house, then took the search outside even though 1) I don't know how it could've gotten outside or 2) Once it got out there, it would've been too scared to go anywhere. I took another kitten today outside as a test and, after sniffing around for about 10 seconds, he started to cry. I started to feel sick thinking about if something had happened.

My car was at Chris's so I just said, okay, hopefully he was just sleeping soundly somewhere and he'll be out when I get back tonight.

But he wasn't. Balu told me the neighbors found him on their front steps, passed away. With no obvious signs of why he died.

I worry that maybe he died of fright. What if he got out yesterday? I still don't know how.. But what if he did, and was so scared without his mama...? The only way I can think that he got out is if Mama took him with her, but that makes no sense; once he started to cry, she would've protected him and that wouldv'e been that.

Now my room door is blocked by a piece of cardboard to allow Oreo to still get in and out so she won't go crazy, but so the cats can't leave the bedroom unattended.

I'm kicking myself, because, obviously, if I would've done this before, all the kittens would be okay. I just, in a million years, never would've thought that one of the kittens would've gotten OUTSIDE. I mean, jeez, we had to show Oreo 10 times how to use the cat door. And she's a big cat! Maybe the little guy followed a big cat out. I dunno.

As I had to console myself when Esme died, I have to think that, even though he only lived a month, that one month was a very snuggly, comfortable life, nursin' it up with his brother and sister and crawling in the food dish for a good ol' binge. I just hope the end wasn't so bad for him.

Agh, I feel bad. Another one of those "I should've been here" scenarios. I try to be a good guardian to these guys, you know? I guess I just don't assume the worst is going to happen. Of course they're safe running around the house, I thought. But sometimes the worst does happen. Like after Esme died, I wished so bad I would've told Alli to bring her home to her mama when she seemed so unhappy at her house. Even if wouldn't have stopped her from dying, at least she could've died with her mama there instead of in a strange house. :(

So sorry to hear that Stacey! It's always hard when a sweet little animal dies, but harder when you have bonded
I'm so sorry to hear about kitten :-( I have just found the last home for my 6 kittens - after only 8 weeks it's still very hard to let them go.

Good luck with the rest of the little ones ;-)
oh, sweetie.. i'm sorry. :(
oh no! :( I'm so sorry!
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I'm Stacey. I'm a 31(!)-year-old Wisconsin girl living in sunny South Florida. The highlights in my life are my lovely boyfriend, my aloof cats, my adorable/adoring stepdogs, my two lumbering tortoises, select family members, being outside, being underwater, taking pictures, yadda yadda. Stay tuned for lots of babbling!

Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida, United States


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Making a difference

A small boy lived by the ocean. He loved the creatures of the sea, especially the starfish, and he spent much of his time exploring the seashore.

One day the boy learned there would be a minus tide that would leave the starfish stranded on the sand.

When the tide went out, he went down to the beach, began picking up the stranded starfish, and tossing them back into the ocean.

An elderly man who lived next door came down to the beach to see what the boy was doing. Seeing the man's quizzical expression, the boy paused as he approached. "I'm saving the starfish!" the boy proudly declared.

When the neighbor saw all of the stranded starfish he shook his head and said: "I'm sorry to disappoint you, young man, but if you look down the beach, there are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see. And if you look up the beach the other way, it's the same. One little boy like you isn't going to make much of a difference."

The boy thought about this for a moment. Then he reached his small hand down to the sand, picked up another starfish, tossed it out into the ocean, and said: "Well, I sure made a difference for that one!"

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