You've mentioned in the past that you have gone to Costco with Chris. All or Costco's diamonds are certified mined in Canada under humane conditions, no blood spilt. So if he tries to worm out of a diamond, just tell him to go to Costco!
 

The South Park guys are soooo right; Anything you can name or think of, "The Simpsons did it!" already.

There was a plotline a few seasons ago that involved Snowball II getting hugely fat, and Bart and Lisa finally discovering that she was sneaking out during the day and pretending to be a stray to the neighbors to get more food.

-By

PS - Please do not marry a man who would buy a ring from a warehouse wholesaler. There are plenty of jewelry stores that sell certified non-conflict diamonds, that don't also have free sausage and cheese dip samples on Saturdays.

PPS - The jeweler that sold Howard Stern his 5+karat-center-stone diamond engagement ring quipped, "They're ALL conflict diamonds. Once you finally put that ring on her finger, it's a lifetime of nothing BUT conflict!"

PPPS - You really should see Blood Diamond. Excellent movie. Leo had a heck of a year in '06. Between BD and The Departed he turned in 2 of the best performances I've ever seen.
 

aww, man, you mean that free cheese dip thing is saturdays-only thing? costco just took a dive imho.

and hardy-har-har on the jeweler thing. and didn't howard say he'd never get married again? big softie.
 

Byron, some things you should know. First off my wife's ring cost probably half what you make in a year. And yes you could go to a regular jeweler, where you are going on their word that the diamonds are indeed conflict free, also the markup you pay on them is about 100 to 200 percent. At Costco, you know the diamonds are conflict free, they are a giant corporation and have their reputation to stand by, not some sweaty Jewish guy in a strip mall. And at Costco the markup on everything is 15 percent. So you get twice as much diamond for the price. They even have professionals who will design a setting for you. But if you want to waste you hard earned money from stolen Brandsmart electronics on an overpriced diamonds that may not even be what they seem to be then go ahead. Oh and Costco does give out the freebies during the week too. Just so you know. Thank you for advising Stacey not to marry a man who would save money, get a better ring, and know no blood was spilt in getting it. Then again, you don't want anyone to marry Stacey do you?
 

Man all this talk of Diamond rings must be getting Stacy upset. Regardless of who you buy it from it only expensive because something like 95 percent of the supply is kept off the market by the Debeers. I hope I spelled it right and the percentage is in the ball park. Stacy regardless of where it comes from if you get the offer its the heart thought that matters.
Tom
 

Attention 'anonymous':
For obvious reasons I cannot know who the fuck you are exactly (I have my suspicions), but clearly you think you know me. I do not deny or shy away from mistakes I have made in the past and I know exactly who I am and what I feel in the present. Neither are issues that are any of your business but nonetheless I will address several of the personal attacks, implied or direct, you make against me. For those less interested in the details of this discussion, feel free to skip to the bottom lines of the post.

In the order in which they were received:

#1 The Yearly Earnings Comment: Unless you happen to be my HR manager, or, and I doubt this even more, my father, you do not at all know what I make per year. What I know is that by making this your lead-off comment you show yourself as a classless and childish twit and I scarcely had a mind to continue on through your miniature manifesto. There’s a word for people like you. People who make a good living and are quick to throw that in other peoples’ faces, or anyone who would taunt or in any way mock the income of someone else who is also out there earning a living. That word is Shithead. I digress though, and for now I'll reject your invitation to engage in a battle of numbers here and instead congratulate your wife for signing up for a lifetime with such an angry and humorless person as yourself. To be sure her new life with her husband will be the very pinnacle of extravagance, what with your 5-gallon jars of mayonnaise and 124-roll packs of toilet paper. My only hope is that Costco also sells discounted marriage counseling as well. I imagine that one day, you will need it.

#2 The Costco-shill Rant: This one really wasn't directed at me per say, but I'll answer it anyway. I, and I believe others feel similarly, do not see "giant corporation" as an automatic reason to frequent or trust any given business (See: Wal-Mart; Enron; Exxon/Mobile; et cetera). Granted, that's a personal choice, but I thought I'd point it out. I am not saying Costco (or every large corporation) is a bad company. The truth is, I do not know much about their business practices. My point here is that your logic is flawed. Moving on, kudos for your entry-level anti-Semitism. I too have always advised those close me to avoid, at all costs, sweaty Jews in strip malls, nappy niggers in pawn shops, greasy spics on the sides of the highway, and most importantly, Haitians anywhere. In this, we are paisan.

#3 - Stolen BrandsMart Electronics? What the?: You seem unusually adept at using half-truths and misdirection. (Karl Rove is that you again, you silly goose?) Indeed I worked for BrandsMart USA for several years, but I never stole merchandise from any of my employers. Not once. Not even a little. Not even a kind of iffy grey area that you could review the circumstances of and then reasonably conclude a theft occurred. I will concede that on two occasions I did take non-retail promotional items -- specifically a thermos and an umbrella, both plastered with the company logo -- without obtaining the proper form. My integrity indiscretions and life of crime begin and end there. I also, towards the end of my employment with the company, began working only 40-hour weeks, rather than the scheduled 50-hours. Now if one were a shithead (and in this case, one clearly is), he would call that theft of time. The fact of the matter is, and the Department of Labor supports me on this, I was salaried overtime-exempt employee – I also received no compensatory time for hours worked above 40. I simply began working the time I was paid for, and stopped giving a bad company 10 hours of time for free. Power to the people, and all that. I did not hide what I was doing, and this did not stop the VP of my department from imploring me to remain with the company or from making me offers to return after I left. So please, in the name of all that you hold dear, do not continue to levy unsubstantiated an inaccurate allegations against me. It shows you to be the misinformed pathetic twerp you’ve grown to become. Sad, really.

#4 – Stacey - Her Future, Not Mine, Not Yours: You are on a roll, son. Now you think a 5+years old snapshot into my life can accurately predicate my state of mind and feelings today. How well would I be able to predict the adult you would become from knowledge ending 5 years ago, or 10? Not well, it would seem, because I would have never guessed “Shithead”, yet here we are. With all due respect to your powers of observation and prediction, you are way off the mark. I believe that Stacey knows well enough how I feel and what I want for her and her future, and I do not believe that it is any of your concern. If I have not done a good enough job of letting her know, then I will certainly do so in private, but again it does not involve you, or this comment thread, but, just in case I have not been clear enough to this point, it has no relation at all to your implications of my motivation. I will say that by your own comment, it would seem that between you and me, if one of us has unresolved issues, it is not me. Unfortunately, I have not yet had the opportunity to meet Chris. From what I hear, he sounds like a wonderful person. And more importantly to me, he makes Stacey happy. Certainly he sounds like a better man than you, and that makes me happy. This would be known as a “win-win”.


Separate from all the other issues, I would like to address one final point. You are correct: I had no idea Costco gave out samples on other days of the week. I am a little overwhelmed at this good news, and I look forward to visiting the nearby location on my next day off. There is no better way I can think of to bring to a close a relaxed Tuesday afternoon off than with little pieces of tacquito on a toothpick. As you surely know as my Unofficial Biographer, there is precious little in my life that I look forward to, and you, sir, have added one more thing to the list. I will rank this revelation, I think, at #3 on the list. Just in front of “#4 - Braves game with friends on the 17th”, but falling significantly behind “#2 - Finding out ‘anonymous’ has been struck by a bus.”

In closing, with the brevity I lacked above:
Fuck you and all that you have said, and all that you are. Shithead.
 

Woah! I haven't been over here in a while... Check out all the drama!