Friday, February 15, 2008
my poor sister
thank god my sister isn't bringing her husband when she visits in march, because i am pretty sure i wouldn't be able to talk to him.
some background:
his name is chris. she met him after i moved from wisconsin, so i don't really know him at all. when she told me about him, she said he loved animals, so i had high hopes... and, true, he had animals at his house (dogs, and they had a horse and donkey, but they have since sold those)... but he's also huge into hunting. there are deer heads and rabbit skins all over their house. oh, and he caught a hammerhead on their vacation in mexico, which is "mounted" over their bed. nice thing to wake up to. (we all know that killing fish for trophies is pointless, right? unlike deer, they don't actually STUFF the fish. if you want a trophy of that prize mahi, you can just take a picture of it and release it back into the ocean, since the trophy folks are really just making a sculpture of the fish you caught. hence, killing the hammerhead was completely unnecessary. hence, goddammit.) oh, he also now has a taxidermy business. and i don't exactly get favorable reports of him these days.
shitty story #1
their furnace is crap. this winter, it has regularly been getting down to -40. they'll wake up in the morning and it will be 50 degrees in their house. this was the situation on saturday. my sister's husband went to work.
my sister got up, went to make breakfast for her and her son, but their pipes were frozen. she got in touch with chris, who said to use a hairdryer on the pipes to unfreeze them. well, apparently he should have also told her to turn off the main water pipe, which he didn't, so when the water thawed, the pipe exploded.
she had water spraying all over her kitchen, and she was home alone with a three-year-old and had no idea what to do. she was calling my mom, who wasn't home, and leaving crying, screaming messages on her machine for help.. she couldn't get in touch with her husband at work (neither of them have cell phones!).. she couldn't get in touch with anyone. she finally was able to reach a neighbor who came over and helped her. eventually, chris got the message and came home.
by the time the neighbor was able to get there, the whole kitchen was flooded and the water had flowed into the dining room. apparently their wood floor in the dining room is now ruined.
okay, so here's the bad part. chris gets home and kelli is upset and crying, just having gone through this horrible ordeal.
he sees the wood floor is ruined.
he is mad.
he blames my sister for it.
!!!
he says she should've gotten towels out to soak up the mess. nevermind she was too busy trying to GET THE WATER FROM EXPLODING ALL OVER HER KITCHEN and REACH PEOPLE ON THE PHONE TO HELP HER. nevermind the fact that he NEVER TOLD HER WHAT TO DO TO PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING. if you have to tell your wife how to thaw the pipes, you probably should realize that you need to tell her to turn off the main pipe as well.
shitty story #2
yesterday was valentine's, right?
you'd think that, after he acted a fool this weekend, he'd do something nice to make up for it? do you want to know what my sister got for valentine's? wanna guess? roses and dinner? a hand-written card and home-made meal? no.
they work together. while at work, he came up to her and handed her a piece of paper that had "happy valentine's day" written on it and a pack of M&Ms from the vending machine. "he didn't give her anything else after they got home? or take her out to dinner?" i asked. "nope," my sister said.
the best part, my other sister reported, was that he gave another lady at work the exact same thing. ?! i guess two packs of candy fell after he put his quarters in, and he didn't want to give kelli TWO packs of M&Ms. that would be overkill. but, if he would've been thinking ahead, he could've saved them for next year...
man, she sure snagged her a ladykiller, eh? ¶ 11:05 AM
some background:
his name is chris. she met him after i moved from wisconsin, so i don't really know him at all. when she told me about him, she said he loved animals, so i had high hopes... and, true, he had animals at his house (dogs, and they had a horse and donkey, but they have since sold those)... but he's also huge into hunting. there are deer heads and rabbit skins all over their house. oh, and he caught a hammerhead on their vacation in mexico, which is "mounted" over their bed. nice thing to wake up to. (we all know that killing fish for trophies is pointless, right? unlike deer, they don't actually STUFF the fish. if you want a trophy of that prize mahi, you can just take a picture of it and release it back into the ocean, since the trophy folks are really just making a sculpture of the fish you caught. hence, killing the hammerhead was completely unnecessary. hence, goddammit.) oh, he also now has a taxidermy business. and i don't exactly get favorable reports of him these days.
shitty story #1
their furnace is crap. this winter, it has regularly been getting down to -40. they'll wake up in the morning and it will be 50 degrees in their house. this was the situation on saturday. my sister's husband went to work.
my sister got up, went to make breakfast for her and her son, but their pipes were frozen. she got in touch with chris, who said to use a hairdryer on the pipes to unfreeze them. well, apparently he should have also told her to turn off the main water pipe, which he didn't, so when the water thawed, the pipe exploded.
she had water spraying all over her kitchen, and she was home alone with a three-year-old and had no idea what to do. she was calling my mom, who wasn't home, and leaving crying, screaming messages on her machine for help.. she couldn't get in touch with her husband at work (neither of them have cell phones!).. she couldn't get in touch with anyone. she finally was able to reach a neighbor who came over and helped her. eventually, chris got the message and came home.
by the time the neighbor was able to get there, the whole kitchen was flooded and the water had flowed into the dining room. apparently their wood floor in the dining room is now ruined.
okay, so here's the bad part. chris gets home and kelli is upset and crying, just having gone through this horrible ordeal.
he sees the wood floor is ruined.
he is mad.
he blames my sister for it.
!!!
he says she should've gotten towels out to soak up the mess. nevermind she was too busy trying to GET THE WATER FROM EXPLODING ALL OVER HER KITCHEN and REACH PEOPLE ON THE PHONE TO HELP HER. nevermind the fact that he NEVER TOLD HER WHAT TO DO TO PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING. if you have to tell your wife how to thaw the pipes, you probably should realize that you need to tell her to turn off the main pipe as well.
shitty story #2
yesterday was valentine's, right?
you'd think that, after he acted a fool this weekend, he'd do something nice to make up for it? do you want to know what my sister got for valentine's? wanna guess? roses and dinner? a hand-written card and home-made meal? no.
they work together. while at work, he came up to her and handed her a piece of paper that had "happy valentine's day" written on it and a pack of M&Ms from the vending machine. "he didn't give her anything else after they got home? or take her out to dinner?" i asked. "nope," my sister said.
the best part, my other sister reported, was that he gave another lady at work the exact same thing. ?! i guess two packs of candy fell after he put his quarters in, and he didn't want to give kelli TWO packs of M&Ms. that would be overkill. but, if he would've been thinking ahead, he could've saved them for next year...
man, she sure snagged her a ladykiller, eh? ¶ 11:05 AM
