Wednesday, May 04, 2005
  I'm okay.
It's not as if I didn't see this coming.
Our anniversary, a day that I sadly watched go by without celebration, was the wake-up call.

It's the rare person who doesn't a partner for life, or at least part of it, that makes them happy.
I take solace in that. Someday I will be happy. Someday I won't feel unloved and unlovable.
Someday I'll wonder why I let myself cry so much lately instead of just moved on.

In the meantime, I have to deal with the fact that I've been told I'm not wanted by my best friend.
Go on, get out - go!

But hey, shit happens.

I'm melodramatic, I know. I'm feeling sorry for myself. Sorry.

I'll get over it and be back to my cheery self soon enough. Unless you're a MAN. Then there's no hope for you. ;)
If you weren't melodramatic for a while, I'd be worried. Don't feel like you have to rush to cheeriness, but don't give up on it either. :)
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Sorry about that. I had a small shakeup with my girlfriend the other day, partly because I was being overly emotional (not sure why) since Friday, until now, but it still sorta lingers.

Sometimes, it's better to be alone. Right now I am happy with her, but you know people change, and it's not your fault or his. Paths go in different directions. Best not to force being together, but thats easier said than done.

My gf said something interesting where she feels we won't be together for the long term. I actually feel the same too. It's sad, but at the same time interesting. Like she wants kids, and I don't. I feel that the world already has enough uncared for kids, and I don't care to spread my DNA.

Anyhow, I checked out some blogs and saw yours when looking at old yahoo profiles I had linked to in IE. Good luck and its ok to cry, I do it for no reason sometimes (or maybe just sadness of the state of the world).

Sorry for the rambling, I'm not mentally at my best now either.
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I'm Stacey. I'm a 31(!)-year-old Wisconsin girl living in sunny South Florida. The highlights in my life are my lovely boyfriend, my aloof cats, my adorable/adoring stepdogs, my two lumbering tortoises, select family members, being outside, being underwater, taking pictures, yadda yadda. Stay tuned for lots of babbling!

Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida, United States


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Making a difference

A small boy lived by the ocean. He loved the creatures of the sea, especially the starfish, and he spent much of his time exploring the seashore.

One day the boy learned there would be a minus tide that would leave the starfish stranded on the sand.

When the tide went out, he went down to the beach, began picking up the stranded starfish, and tossing them back into the ocean.

An elderly man who lived next door came down to the beach to see what the boy was doing. Seeing the man's quizzical expression, the boy paused as he approached. "I'm saving the starfish!" the boy proudly declared.

When the neighbor saw all of the stranded starfish he shook his head and said: "I'm sorry to disappoint you, young man, but if you look down the beach, there are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see. And if you look up the beach the other way, it's the same. One little boy like you isn't going to make much of a difference."

The boy thought about this for a moment. Then he reached his small hand down to the sand, picked up another starfish, tossed it out into the ocean, and said: "Well, I sure made a difference for that one!"

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