estacey
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
  Yeah, so my house is really interesting.

Yes, that's a can of worms in the fridge.

And when I go home for lunch today, I get to try to feed the min-dino without getting bitten. Joy.

Onto my normal format..

1. New cat Elliot is doing great. Catching him is still work, but he has been spending most of his time out from under the bed. If I get too close, he'll run under the bed but is back out within about 10 seconds and looking comfy again, sprawled on the floor. Spaz!

2. Tolanda's wisdom comes back to me again. T, you still reading this? If so, you will be happy to hear your words of advice have come to mind lately. I remember you always said, "You can do bad on your own" to your friends' whose low-life boyfriends/husbands weren't helping out. Now, that statement doesn't apply to my relationship with Ed; he took care of me well. I felt like I had someone here, you know? I don't now; that's hard, scary.

But modify Tolanda's statement, and it makes sense for me - I can be unhappy on my own. Ed wasn't happy with me, showed it, and I became miserable. So I'm sad now, but I was sad then too. And granted, this is a horribly lonely version of unhappy, but at least it's peaceful. And there's hope here. I hope someday I find my own Jason Hatstand, who wants to make me feel "like the most special girl in the room".. But I don't count on it, and that's okay; I've made it this far alone. Nothin' a little trip to the sex store won't help. :)

3. Living alone is weird. I have the most retarded schedule on earth right now. And it doesn't matter! The cats don't care! I fell asleep at 8 last night, then was back up at 11. Cleaned, pestered the cats, and then at 1:30, I went for a jog. I jogged through Young Circle, down the sidewalks where people were drinking at little tables, dressed up for a night out. I was like, "Oh, god, I'm one of those people!" But hey, I figure it's a safe place to jog, and it was late enough to not be that busy. And someone told me they loved me. At least that's a nice way to be rude to strange women on the street, at least - no kissy noises or obscene comments. Just, "I love you!" It's like when I was in Mexico - I got sick of the catcalls, the creepy gueras whispered to me on the street.. But once in a while, someone would call me a princesa or a reina or, once, diosa - and I would forego my reflexive sneer and actually smile. "I'm a princess!" Skip, skip! :D

 
Comments:
Be careful with your retarded schedule. Don't do too many late night runs in strange neighborhoods! I know...I sound like a mom, it's what I do best and about the only thing I know what to do anymore! I love reading your blog Stacey!
 
renee: i went at 11 last night instead! hope that's better! ;)
 
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I'm Stacey. I'm a 31(!)-year-old Wisconsin girl living in sunny South Florida. The highlights in my life are my lovely boyfriend, my aloof cats, my adorable/adoring stepdogs, my two lumbering tortoises, select family members, being outside, being underwater, taking pictures, yadda yadda. Stay tuned for lots of babbling!

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Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida, United States

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Making a difference

A small boy lived by the ocean. He loved the creatures of the sea, especially the starfish, and he spent much of his time exploring the seashore.

One day the boy learned there would be a minus tide that would leave the starfish stranded on the sand.

When the tide went out, he went down to the beach, began picking up the stranded starfish, and tossing them back into the ocean.

An elderly man who lived next door came down to the beach to see what the boy was doing. Seeing the man's quizzical expression, the boy paused as he approached. "I'm saving the starfish!" the boy proudly declared.

When the neighbor saw all of the stranded starfish he shook his head and said: "I'm sorry to disappoint you, young man, but if you look down the beach, there are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see. And if you look up the beach the other way, it's the same. One little boy like you isn't going to make much of a difference."

The boy thought about this for a moment. Then he reached his small hand down to the sand, picked up another starfish, tossed it out into the ocean, and said: "Well, I sure made a difference for that one!"


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