Just in case God decides to hold a grudge about this whole atheism thing..., originally uploaded by estacey.

Yes, that's a can of worms in the fridge.

And when I go home for lunch today, I get to try to feed the min-dino without getting bitten. Joy.

Onto my normal format..

1. New cat Elliot is doing great. Catching him is still work, but he has been spending most of his time out from under the bed. If I get too close, he'll run under the bed but is back out within about 10 seconds and looking comfy again, sprawled on the floor. Spaz!

2. Tolanda's wisdom comes back to me again. T, you still reading this? If so, you will be happy to hear your words of advice have come to mind lately. I remember you always said, "You can do bad on your own" to your friends' whose low-life boyfriends/husbands weren't helping out. Now, that statement doesn't apply to my relationship with Ed; he took care of me well. I felt like I had someone here, you know? I don't now; that's hard, scary.

But modify Tolanda's statement, and it makes sense for me - I can be unhappy on my own. Ed wasn't happy with me, showed it, and I became miserable. So I'm sad now, but I was sad then too. And granted, this is a horribly lonely version of unhappy, but at least it's peaceful. And there's hope here. I hope someday I find my own Jason Hatstand, who wants to make me feel "like the most special girl in the room".. But I don't count on it, and that's okay; I've made it this far alone. Nothin' a little trip to the sex store won't help. :)

3. Living alone is weird. I have the most retarded schedule on earth right now. And it doesn't matter! The cats don't care! I fell asleep at 8 last night, then was back up at 11. Cleaned, pestered the cats, and then at 1:30, I went for a jog. I jogged through Young Circle, down the sidewalks where people were drinking at little tables, dressed up for a night out. I was like, "Oh, god, I'm one of those people!" But hey, I figure it's a safe place to jog, and it was late enough to not be that busy. And someone told me they loved me. At least that's a nice way to be rude to strange women on the street, at least - no kissy noises or obscene comments. Just, "I love you!" It's like when I was in Mexico - I got sick of the catcalls, the creepy gueras whispered to me on the street.. But once in a while, someone would call me a princesa or a reina or, once, diosa - and I would forego my reflexive sneer and actually smile. "I'm a princess!" Skip, skip! :D

¶ 11:02 AM