Tuesday, August 30, 2005
The Man's kids can't dance
The hurricane has done something weird to my cable. Saturday night, Alli turned on the TV and I had nothing but the free channels (oh, the horror!). I didn’t get around to checking on it again until yesterday, when I was back to having cable, but only some select channels. No TNT or USA, which sucks, but I do have Comedy Central at least.
Anyway, the lack of Law & Order reruns led me to channel scan. I came to some channel with no identifier in the corner. It was a local dance competition.. Although not local to here, since I didn’t recognize any of the city/place names.
Anyway, they were all kids dancing. It was funny because they were SO HORRIBLE… I guess I’m used to watching teenagers on ESPN2 and all that, people who know what they’re doing. These kids were, like, watching each other to see where they should be. It was plain ol’ painful. Kind of like when Matt was doing his superior dance every time he got a You Don’t Know Jack question right. The kind of dancing that gives you a stomachache. ;)
My mind was boggling: I swear, I’ve seen kids dance before, and it wasn’t bad like this. Why are these kids on television? Why are their coaches not kicking their asses for being this bad? I mean, they were kids so you gotta be nice, but they were 12 easily.
Then it hit me: Waitaminute, these kids are ALL WHITE. THEY’RE ALL WHITE! NO WONDER!!!!!
So I started to think that Katrina sent me some weird Iowa dance competition or something. Cable lines got crossed, something.
Then I hear the announcement for the next performer: The Martin Luther King Center. “Well, I guess I can now figure out if it really is because they’re just white or I’m just expecting too much from little kids.”
And the black kids were awesome. At the end, they even had a little kid with a big afro come out and be Ludacris. It was kinda creepy when he lip-synced “Now hold your head steady and I’ll milk the cow.” But hey, it was definitely better than seeing all my little white cousins raising the roof with their gangly little arms and kickin’ it with their rhythmless little legs! Ah, being white sucks sometimes.. ¶ 12:54 PM
Anyway, the lack of Law & Order reruns led me to channel scan. I came to some channel with no identifier in the corner. It was a local dance competition.. Although not local to here, since I didn’t recognize any of the city/place names.
Anyway, they were all kids dancing. It was funny because they were SO HORRIBLE… I guess I’m used to watching teenagers on ESPN2 and all that, people who know what they’re doing. These kids were, like, watching each other to see where they should be. It was plain ol’ painful. Kind of like when Matt was doing his superior dance every time he got a You Don’t Know Jack question right. The kind of dancing that gives you a stomachache. ;)
My mind was boggling: I swear, I’ve seen kids dance before, and it wasn’t bad like this. Why are these kids on television? Why are their coaches not kicking their asses for being this bad? I mean, they were kids so you gotta be nice, but they were 12 easily.
Then it hit me: Waitaminute, these kids are ALL WHITE. THEY’RE ALL WHITE! NO WONDER!!!!!
So I started to think that Katrina sent me some weird Iowa dance competition or something. Cable lines got crossed, something.
Then I hear the announcement for the next performer: The Martin Luther King Center. “Well, I guess I can now figure out if it really is because they’re just white or I’m just expecting too much from little kids.”
And the black kids were awesome. At the end, they even had a little kid with a big afro come out and be Ludacris. It was kinda creepy when he lip-synced “Now hold your head steady and I’ll milk the cow.” But hey, it was definitely better than seeing all my little white cousins raising the roof with their gangly little arms and kickin’ it with their rhythmless little legs! Ah, being white sucks sometimes.. ¶ 12:54 PM
