Sunday, July 16, 2006
25 Signs You've Grown Up
I forwarded this to my friends in email when I got it.. I had to add it here after an occurrence the other day in the car.
25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. (Did y'all know I had a twin bed when I moved into this house, and was on a hardcore mission to get a new one until I found a Queen on Craigslist?)
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. (I used to regularly go to sleep at 5-7 a.m. Now my alarm goes off each day at 7:15.)
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel. (OK, only during hurricanes, but this does apply.)
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@.. kids next door won't turn down the stereo. (Balu has honestly called the cops on our neighbors because of their band practice.)
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. (Cats. And Newman's Own, thank you.)
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. (This happened while Shannon was in town when I fell asleep out on the couch. Aggh.)
16. You take naps. (Well, I always did.)
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. (True, but I do eat breakfast food all the rest of the time, too.)
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." (I usually don't make it out late enough to even drink too much. Saaad.)
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"
My own #26: You find yourself muttering "punk" in traffic at some guy in his early 20's because you had been worried he was going to cut you off, even though he didn't. Punk. I'm using the word punk seriously. Oh, lord...
¶ 12:59 PM
25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. (Did y'all know I had a twin bed when I moved into this house, and was on a hardcore mission to get a new one until I found a Queen on Craigslist?)
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. (I used to regularly go to sleep at 5-7 a.m. Now my alarm goes off each day at 7:15.)
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel. (OK, only during hurricanes, but this does apply.)
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@.. kids next door won't turn down the stereo. (Balu has honestly called the cops on our neighbors because of their band practice.)
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. (Cats. And Newman's Own, thank you.)
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. (This happened while Shannon was in town when I fell asleep out on the couch. Aggh.)
16. You take naps. (Well, I always did.)
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. (True, but I do eat breakfast food all the rest of the time, too.)
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." (I usually don't make it out late enough to even drink too much. Saaad.)
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"
My own #26: You find yourself muttering "punk" in traffic at some guy in his early 20's because you had been worried he was going to cut you off, even though he didn't. Punk. I'm using the word punk seriously. Oh, lord...
¶ 12:59 PM
