thursday already? agh. this has got to be quick - i got home after 9, and so much to do...!

1. cats. yep, still keeping up with this. dot-nose got a home! did i already announce that? anyway, he did. that's good. but these other cats.. there's this black cat marty. he keeps getting sick. he gets better, they bring him back to petsmart, he gets sick again. i can't let him out to play, no one is going to adopt a sick cat.. but he's just the sweetest thing. he deserves a home. he stands and cries for me to pet him. bats at me as i walk by to get my attention. the poor thing.. and his cage is right under the a/c vent, so no wonder he's sick again! blargh.

chris keeps telling me i should quit doing the cat thing, that i'm stretching myself too thin. fair enough - i just about lost it yesterday because i had to go 10 minutes out of my way for what turned out to be nothing, and JESUS, I DO NOT HAVE 10 MINUTES TO SPARE, especially on a wednesday. and that's kinda scary. at the same time, i feel like i'm really doing something good, and i love to see cats coming around (a formerly feral cat tonight totally made out with my forearm) and getting homes and all that. i dunno. it's probably a good idea, but i am not ready to throw in the towel yet and say i don't have enough time.

kinda funny, a group of, like, 13-year-olds were in the store, at the cat window when i got there. they were going on about how the one cat was sick and we should help him and why didn't we do something about it. you know, being rude for each other's benefit? and then the one boy of the group really started in: "that cat is really sick," he said, his voice heavy with attitude. "why don't you do something about it? take it to the vet!" and then the girls started in, seeing who could mouth off to this adult the worst. i was totally annoyed. but he was a kid, so i stayed calm while explaining: "well, that cat was fine before, but then he came back here and had to be in this small room with all the other cats and they all end up getting sick and sadly we do not have a full-time person whose job is to do nothing but cart the cats back and forth from the shelter so he will have to wait until saturday, when someone can come get him. okay?" the kid was just like, [meep!] "okay." damn straight. it's funny when kids think they're real cool and then you point out that they're not and they agree with you.

note to self: must get that one cat fixed. but when? damn.

2. math. math sucks, y'all. i have actually figured out that i am not that bad at it. after all, i've taught myself everything from the book so far. i can't get past the first sentence or so the teacher says, so i just use class to make lists or think about sloths. last night, though, i actually used class time to do homework (from two weeks ago). (hey, it's a start.) but yeah, i blew on the test. thankfully, i did alright on the last test, so my current test average is a C. however, i am not a chick used to getting Cs. oh well.

3. chris is out of town until saturday. this will be the, what, second friday ever that i haven't seen him since we met. he went to houston one weekend. oh, and i think i got sick once. but other than that... i'm staying at his house tonight anyhow; the dogs need company. it will be weird to sleep in that big bed alone tonight.

i have to laugh, because i realize chris is such a good influence on me. proof? i go to bed at a decent time when i stay here. usually. before midnight, surely. sometimes in the 10's even. at my house? try 1. and when i stay here, he almost always makes dinner. and what did i have tonight? a banana and the better part of a cupcake. like an 8-year-old left home alone, i'm tellin' ya.

4. formerly feral cat, as referenced above. tonight when he let me rub his belly, even though he basically goes into shock if you pick him up, i smiled and thought how it was great he was discovering the good human hands can do. all that chin-scratchin' and belly-rubbin'. and i thought of a quote i saw the other day, about how humans are such goodness and such evil, at the same time, and how right on the money that is. about how nearly every day, i am completely appalled by what people do and, just as often, have tears come to my eyes from the goodness people unselfishly accomplish. random cat-duty thought for the day. i'm wonder if the divide between the good people and the shitty people will continue to widen, until one day we're separate species. because, really, i wonder sometimes how i can possibly be so closely related to people who wear fur.

5. kids, stay in school. the one complaint i have about working & going to school, besides the whole constant feeling that i'm behind (and that feeling gets old, trust me) is that i don't get to pursue anything i want to do, personally. i want to master that camera, but haven't gotten to touch it since saturday. there are books i want to read, that were not purchased at the campus bookstore. i want to get that cat fixed. i gotta polish up the dive skills. i gotta take swimming lessons again. i would like to practice my spanish. i feel bad for neglecting my cats, feel like i never have time to play with gretchen & buddy. i mean, we all know that work interferes with our pet projects enough, but school on top? it's frustrating. but, alas, it's what i gotta do. it's just unfortunate. thankfully, however, it isn't an infinite endeavor.

okay, i got stuff to do and some ZZZZZZs to catch.  ¶ 9:40 PM