Saturday, June 02, 2007
  oh goddammit

Oct2006 076, originally uploaded by StarObs.

yesterday was SUCH A LONG DAY. i had to be at the airport at 6:30 - fly to tampa, drive one hour to sarasota, all for a 4-hour meeting, then repeat to get home - we almost missed our plane - had to run, talk our way to the front of the security line - i got in trouble for not having my makeup in a ziploc bag - they called our names a good four times for last boarding, but thank god we made it. back home at about 6:30 p.m. oy. this is after a night of less than 6 hours of sleep, broken in half by a half-hour kitten-care session. oy, so tired.

with all that travel yesterday, i had long conversations with a couple different (sorta) co-workers. at one point, in a whole-car conversation, i was asked what my boyfriend did for a living. my boss, who was in the car, already knows.. but no one else did. and for the first time, i had to hesitate, then said, "he works at the hospital." with my hesitation and then vague answer, everyone probably assumed he's a janitor there or something. :) it's such a weird thing - like, i'm so proud of chris. he worked hard to get to where he is, and am guessing he is just as sweet at work as he is at home. at the same time, it half feels like bragging when i say what he does. the couple of times i've answered it honestly, i've gotten a taken-aback reaction. combine that with the fact that everyone is struggling (not as if i am not myself).. i just don't want to go there.

i know this makes no sense -- why should i hide anything? and i used to be able to very proudly be honest before. i guess that was back in the day, when basically everyone i knew was broke like me. renting your place and driving a shitty car was pretty standard. and i'm still in that position. but now i see chris - this proud owner of a big, beautiful house that made my co-worker ooh and ahh the other night when she stopped by (i had to keep saying, "it's not mine! it's chris's!"), and his sister, who is driving a brand-new lexus hybrid suv - talk about her buying a place soon, all by herself. in this housing market! i guess when all your friends are as poor as you, it's easy to not feel bad about it, but sometimes it's a little harder when you're around people who can just buy what they need and want. it requires a reality check here and there. ($800 lens a seemingly attainable goal? ha!)

you know, the one thing that really strikes me about not having to worry a lot about dough is that we have everything we need here in this house. going to wash a dish and the sponge stinks? you can throw it in the dishwasher and can be assured that there will be another, brand new sponge under the sink. every time it happens, and every time there is another, beautiful, non-stinky still-wrapped sponge - and it never fails to amaze & delight me. need to wash a load of clothes? you never have to worry that we're out of laundry detergent because there are two, like, 1o-gallon buckets of it in in the laundry room cupboard. need a battery? we're set for the next 10 hurricanes. a stamp? check the desk drawer. think you're out of dish soap? check again; it's there. it's the funniest thing that that is what strikes me, but i grew up in a household where we didn't have toilet paper about half the time, so starting to feel justified in adding toilet paper to the shopping list when you get down to 20 or so rolls is definitely a change.

did that make any sense? probably not. i just guess chris's "people are funny about that sort of stuff" advice has finally sunk in, and it's made me try to be especially thoughtful about not making anyone jealous, even though they have nothing to be jealous of because, c'mon now, i drive my boyfriend's second car and have about a grand in the bank.

okay, so anyway..

this morning i woke up with -- you guessed it -- a migraine. motherfucker!!! i was really not impressed, spent most of the day on the couch with an icepack. part of it i felt OK enough to watch TV & a movie, other times i was just sitting there crying, totally frustrated by this whole thing. this is the third migraine weekend in a row. i so hope the doc has something good for me. more advice and understanding than drugs, of course - but i would like to have the drugs, too. i don't want another weekend - let alone trip - ruined by these fucking headaches i can't seem to prevent.

luckily, at around 5 p.m. i started feeling a little better. i fed the kittens, washed dishes, went outside a little, did laundry, cleaned the kitchen, etc. etc. it's amazing what kind of awesome mood i'm in when the headache subsides.

another thing about these headaches is that i get so HUNGRY. or, well, i don't know if it's that i'm hungry or if it just makes me feel like i am OR it just makes me less tolerant of being hungry. in any case, whenever i have a migraine - or in the getting better-stage of it, anyway - i am always FAMISHED. so that means i eat.
combine that with hardly moving because, ya know, it hurts - and even after the headache goes away, i'm scared to go running or anything because getting hot could very well trigger the headache to come back.. well, let's just say it's not helping things. i swear i've gained weight in the past couple of weeks. no thanks to the copious amounts of birthday cake that have been present at home & at work lately, mind you. i've been awful, and i can tell. ugh. i'm even farther back than i was before. i so don't want to go to the caymans all fat like this. :(

anyway, back to today - chris came home from church with four bunches of gerbera daisies for me. :) so that was nice. then we went to the pet store and the dollar store and fun stuff like that.

the kittens are growing like weeds! i obviously didn't get any pics today, but assuming it's nice out tomorrow i'll do it then. white kitten weighed something like 8 oz when i found him; he now weighs 12. calico was at 10, and is probably at 14 now. they have big bellies and are playing and everything. it's great! :)

pics to follow soon! please lord let this headache stay gone tomorrow!!!

what are you taking for migraines? I've tried a couple different ones, unfortunately the only thing that works for me is Amerge which has a $40 copay, which i'm also suppose to take with 800mg of ibprofen. But it works, like in an hour my migraine is gone. Haven't yet had to go on preventatives... but you can only take 9 pills in a month ($40 for 9 pills sucks so much) and shouldn't take more than 2 in a week (though sometimes I've had three) Only reason i'm not on preventatives, cause I can have 3 or 4 in one week and then go another month without one... sucks.
I take Relpax for my migraines. Those little pills are totally worth it!!
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I'm Stacey. I'm a 31(!)-year-old Wisconsin girl living in sunny South Florida. The highlights in my life are my lovely boyfriend, my aloof cats, my adorable/adoring stepdogs, my two lumbering tortoises, select family members, being outside, being underwater, taking pictures, yadda yadda. Stay tuned for lots of babbling!

Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida, United States


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Making a difference

A small boy lived by the ocean. He loved the creatures of the sea, especially the starfish, and he spent much of his time exploring the seashore.

One day the boy learned there would be a minus tide that would leave the starfish stranded on the sand.

When the tide went out, he went down to the beach, began picking up the stranded starfish, and tossing them back into the ocean.

An elderly man who lived next door came down to the beach to see what the boy was doing. Seeing the man's quizzical expression, the boy paused as he approached. "I'm saving the starfish!" the boy proudly declared.

When the neighbor saw all of the stranded starfish he shook his head and said: "I'm sorry to disappoint you, young man, but if you look down the beach, there are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see. And if you look up the beach the other way, it's the same. One little boy like you isn't going to make much of a difference."

The boy thought about this for a moment. Then he reached his small hand down to the sand, picked up another starfish, tossed it out into the ocean, and said: "Well, I sure made a difference for that one!"

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