embracing unemployment ok, so the plan was to get a job right away after i finished with classes last semester. while still in finals, i was applying for jobs. either full-time ones i really wanted or part-time ones i was at least willing to do. thing is, then i actually got some calls back (on the latter category) and realized that, um, after years of doing jobs where much of my responsibilities were in the administrative category.. well, i don't want to do that anymore. even part-time, since most of the jobs want you there every day of the work week, just for shorter periods of time. i've done years and years of it, and i can't help but feel i've paid my dues. i just don't want to do that stuff anymore. i've had a lot of good responsibilities that i enjoyed fulfulling, but in my past positions i have had to do things like filing, making coffee, cleaning the kitchen, acting as receptionist whenever the the bitchy receptionist was on vacation or at lunch (seriously, you have NO idea how much that pissed me off, considering everything i had taken on since i was hired and how much the position had changed.. it was in not really an administrative position anymore, so why should i get stuck doing shitty administrative stuff like that, without ANY of the other people helping?), umm... TYPING MY BOSS'S WIFE'S LETTER TO THEIR CONDO BOARD from a tape she made... should i say this? i think i'm too smart for that shit. while a B.A. in english may not qualify me for anything i really want to do, it's kinda my line in the sand.. i am (or will be) a degree holder; i ain't going back to ordering your coffee for you. at least, not while i don't have to, and i don't have to...

i do actually miss having a job for a couple of reasons... one thing is that sense of responsibility & accomplishment. you know, i a pretty efficient little worker. every job i have had, i've managed to work all my duties down to a streamlined science and, while accomplishing 150% more than anyone expected me to, still managed to spend half my day in the internet. so while i goofed off a lot, i still did DO a lot. and accomplished a lot. and there is something to be said for the feeling of accomplishment. but i guess i'll get over it.

the other thing i miss about a job is the pay, obviously. but.. well, i really lucked out. me canceling costa rica caused chris & i to reorganize how we deal with the finances in the stacey-chris household. he used to do the budget.. he makes good money, ya know, and has lots of places that money goes. but he saves $X per month for the "budget" - that budget pays all our household bills, food, eating out, groceries, etc. he used to keep track of the budget. i was living off of my student loans. but now... i'm doing the budget! he thinks it'll make me appreciate the money more, which it actually has.. and i'm glad since i can stop having him stressing about staying under budget all month. so anyway, there is a bit of surplus each month.. assuming i'm wise about money.. that can be used for whatever i want. saving up for a lens. saving up for a trip to costa rica. or, as is actually happening now, paying off my credit cards. and the soon-to-arrive ER bill. none of that other fun stuff is gonna happen for a looong time, i'd imagine.. but i actually used the first budget installment just now to pay off ALL THREE of my credit cards and I CANNOT TELL YOU how good that felt. (i usually pay the balance off every month, but when the student loans ran out, that became impossible...) seriously. so good. so now i'm kinda like a month behind, i guess you could say, but all the bills are going on one of my credit card anyhow, so it will work out in the end.

so the plan is now to really actually try to start a photography business this summer. i'm doing research and stuff, slowly. i want to get some professional flyers designed, somehow. i'm checking out website possibilities. i already have a domain! and moo cards! i'm only doing it half-hearted right now.. i just finished classes a week ago, and am still not really into much computer time or anything. if i even had, like, five clients a month, i'd be super happy. i think i can do it.

so before i dash into this photography business thing whole-heartedly, i am at present just embracing my situation. staying up late, sleeping late (accepting my nature, in other words). i've been taking the dogs to the doggy park a lot, for a couple hours a shot. reading a lot. doing enough cleaning and whatnot to make myself feel useful. the dogs are LOVING this, i'll tell ya. i've been jogging at least three times a week.. the dogs always get to come... after a nice long jog tonight they all got thrown in the pool, towel dried off -- their favorite -- and a nice, long brushing from a very happy stacey. this on the same day they got to play in the lake at the doggy park for a couple hours. sebastian came went in the water on his own! i was shocked. their life is pretty sweet right now, with me around to snuggle on them and take them on car rides and to the park.

tomorrow i'm driving to boca to try to trap some of the FAU cats. or at least one of them. bringing a book. yipee!

so anyway, this whole no-responsibilities thing is just pretty much rockin'. i mean, as a full-time student, i had way more time than when i was working full-time. but i was ALWAYS sweating something, even if i was procrastinating it. now it's like.. i got nothing weighing on my mind like that. it's great. and just two classes this summer!

also, may i say, i'm 5 credits away from my B.A. and my GPA is something like 3.78 or something. and this is with me doing it all half-hearted. i mean, i worked hard on the stuff when i finally got to it.. but like... we're talking night-before. we're talking taking tests on material i hadn't looked at. lyrical poetry of the renaissance? i didn't read anything from like the 2nd week of class until the night before the final. seriously. then it was an all-night cram session, but STILL. i got an A! so while FAU ain't harvard, i think that if i did go to a good school, if i DID apply myself, i would still do well.

ok, phew, i think that's all. :)  ¶ 1:15 AM